Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Croods at Berlinale pt.7:
Automatic Answers To Unasked Questions

One of the most fun and rewarding parts of ANY filmmaker/actor/actress' job is the hotel press junket. Combining the thrill of self-expression with the glamor of old Hollywood, the hotel press junket is the epitome of the Tinseltown dream. Sitting in small chair in a lightly-themed hotel room for hours on end, answering the same ten questions over and over again --WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

While filmmakers/actors/actresses would LOVE to devote months to repeating this ritual the whole world over, alas, they cannot. After all, self-aggrandizing reward shows and private school fundraisers won't host themselves. Enter: The PRERECORDED hotel press junket. This is where filmmakers/actors/actresses film a set of carefully constructed answers to the cliched questions that literally EVERY journalist inevitably asks. These prerecorded soundbites are then sent to local news stations across the globe, where they are unconvincingly spliced together with clips of local newscasters reading from a list of prepackaged questions. And just like that, NEWS IS BORN!

Now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, YOU TOO can craft your own phony interviews with the cast and crew of The Croods. If you're really tech-savvy, you could even cut-and-paste the prerecorded answers to create ALL NEW ANSWERS! Draft an internet exclusive! Start a libelous meme! Prank call your friends! Your only limits are your conscience, your imagination and the local laws in your township or jurisdiction. Enjoy!

Kirk De Micco & Chris Sanders

Nicholas Cage

Emma Stone

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