Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Breaking News: Croods Castmember Arrested!


Los Angeles, CA - In what is now an all-too-familiar story, one of Hollywood's hottest young ingenues has been arrested. Belt, or 'the sloth from The Croods,' as he is known to most movie-goers, was picked up late last night by LAPD, charged with multiple counts of public indecency.

At a press conference held this morning, Police Chief Wiggum read from a prepared statement, saying, "At approximately 11pm last night, LAPD began receiving dozens of 9-1-1 calls. The callers all reported seeing a large, grinning sloth wandering the streets, clad in nothing but its natural fibers. It took our officers less than five minutes to locate the suspect, who was alone and on foot. Officers reported that the suspect made no attempt to run. Wait, are sloths even ABLE to r-- er... I mean, the suspect's eyes were large and glassy. He appeared dazed and was unable to speak. After failing a series of sobriety tests, the officers were forced to carry him to their squad car. I'm sure you've all seen the photos."

The photos that Chief Wiggum is referring to were taken by a cadre of cameramen for TMZ. One of the TMZ camerawomen has been quoted as saying, "Classic Hollywood, right? Get famous one day, get arrested the next. Maybe they can put him in a cell with Lindsay. Hopefully she won't try to hang herself with him. Oh, and did you see his hair? Grey as a goose. I guess Emma Stone's not the only phony red-head in The Croods."

Classy, TMZ. Real classy

Only a week before, the mono-monikered mammal made headlines for a series of nude photos published by the Italian website, ComingSoon.it. In those NSFW photos, Belt can be seen making his way past various German landmarks, totally nude. In one photo, he is even seen taunting two local law officers. It looks like this time, Johnny Law taunted back.


DreamWorks declined to comment.

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