Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Want To Win A Croods Movie Poster?

You can!


But only if your name is the name drawn completely at random by an unbiased, unfeeling, uncaring computer that is not easily swayed by the animated gifs, flirty emoticons or an excessive usage of exclamation marks.


At 11:59 pm E.S.T. on January 23, I'll paste all of the commenters into excel and randomize the list to pick a winner. I'll send the winner an email requesting their name and mailing address, so your comment must be linked to a real email address if you want to win.

Good luck!


The fine-print: Too paranoid to comment publicly? You can also enter via our Tumblr. Wait -- 'they' can track you there, too. So what'll it be: paranoia or a poster? The choice seems pretty simple to me. Oh, yeah. Only ONE POSTER will be awarded. If the first person selected cannot be contacted through their email, a second name will be drawn in their place. And so on. Seriously, is any of this really necessary? Haven’t you ever entered a contest before? Why are you even still reading this? Are you hoping for some insider info on a way to better your odds? Maybe some dirt on your favorite celebrity? A confession about the age I was when I first first-based a gal? Stop reading this now! I mean it. I can type for as long as you can read. Do you really want to be found dead at age 89 sitting at your computer reading the teensy-tiny footnote of a crummy contest that ended decades before? You do? Fine, then I’ll keep typing. Still there? I don’t get you. There’s literally MILLIONS of other things that you could be doing right now, yet here you are, belligerently browsing an intentionally eye-straining set of run-on sentences. You’re. STILL. READING! It blows my mind to think that you have this much free time on your hands. Get a hobby. Read a book. Draw Dr. Who characters as the cast from Adventure Time before the 14-year-olds in charge of the internet officially declare that meme dead. Just do something. Anything. I don’t give a poop so long as you’re no longer reading this. Because I’m just about ready to— Hello? Are you still there? You haven’t left, have you? Cuz I thought we were starting to really connect there. Oh, well. You’ll be back. And I’ll be waiting.

1 comment:

  1. You make me laugh...please keep writing. Winning the poster would be great!