It's quickly becoming apparent that advance screenings of The Croods are happening with a smoothness and regularity that would make prunes proud. Between Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook, I've already read over a dozens positive reactions to the film, and not one negative response.
So where's my review?
Well, I haven't actually seen the film yet. Truth is, I haven't even been invited. I figure the folks at DreamWorks want to keep me in the same sorta 'plausible deniability' category that the CIA uses with their 'unofficial' operatives like Blackwater and the Mission: Impossible guys. That way, were I to drop a string of f-bombs or a particularly painful turn of phrase (like, say, "with a smoothness and regularity that would make prunes proud"), DWA could immediately say, "Nope, never heard of him," to any angry parents groups or members of the mainstream press.
That said, F-BOMB, F-BOMB, F-BOMB!
I need to see The Croods!
And it's NOT because I've been doing an unofficial blog for the film since March and feel like it's the least that DreamWorks could do. I'm well aware: They owe me NOTHING.
Nor is it because I feel some sort of 'professional pride' and want to scoop the other animation websites with my Croods review. I'm also aware: I'm the entertainment journalism equivalent of a homeless guy with a cardboard 'Will blog for food' sign.
No, I need to see The Croods because I LOVE THE FILMS OF CHRIS SANDERS. And because I'm selfish...and impatient...and rave reviews like the one that Jim Hill published this morning only add fuel to these hellfire flaws.
Oh, you didn't read Jim Hill's review of The Croods yet? Then you didn't see where Hill called it, "completely
charming" and "a skillful
mix of comedy and adventure which has plenty of heart." Gosh, you're really missing out. So then you also didn't read where Hill wrote:
If you're a fan of Chris Sanders' previous directorial efforts, 2002's Lilo & Stitch and 2010's How to Train Your Dragon, you're just going to love The Croods. Which looks like someone took those sketchbooks that Sanders makes from San Diego Comic-Con and then shoved them straight into the camera. Chris' unique take on character design totally permeates this motion picture.
And you completely missed the part where he said:
Croods has some really great messages about family and parenthood, not to mention the
necessity of growth and change.
Or Hill's prediction that:
character for this upcoming DreamWorks Animation will be the green
saber-toothed tiger-like character [...] the macawnivore.
Whatever [...] lucky licensee wound up with the rights to make a plush
version of this green tiger character [...] is going to
make a buttload of money next year.
You didn't read any of that yet? Well, what are you wasting your time here for? Why read about it secondhand when you can go to Jim Hill Media and get it directly from the source? Don't worry. I'll be here when you return. It's not like I have any test screenings to attend...
F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. F-Bomb. :)