Friday, April 6, 2012

6 Strange Gifts for the Chris Sanders Fan Who Has (Almost) Everything

You only have TWO MORE SHOPPING DAYS 'TIL EASTER, and the person you're buying for has allergies to chocolate and a prejudice against Peeps. Whatever will you do? Well, if they regularly visit this blog (or even if they just use it as a SFW screensaver to hide their porn while you walk through the room), there's a good chance that they're a fan of Chris Sanders' work. If that's the case, I've got the answer to your last-minute shopping situation. The six items shown below are not only Sanders-related, they're pretty much guaranteed to be the type of movie tie-ins that even the most avid fan will have missed.

Hope this helps!

Stitch "Personal Massager"
You name a cute cartoon character, I guarantee you that the Japanese have made it into a vibrator. Personally, I find it quite touching. (No pun intended.) But while The Land of the Rising Sun has no problem promoting items aimed at areas where the sun don't shine, the rest of the world prudishly prefers that I label this a "personal massager." Available here.

A Gronkle Cake
If I learned one thing from my step-mother's eating disorder, it was that food = affection. This delightful dessert would've been worth two years of unspoken I love yous. Inspiration can be found here.

Stitch CD Player
Most of the online reviews for this thing describe it as hideous, but frankly, I find it one of the more inspired tie-ins from the film. Super cute: The teeth double as the controls! If you can navigate the site, it's supposedly available here.

Hiccup's Helmet
(a.k.a. Half of Hiccup's Mother's Breastplate)

Wear one as a hat, or buy two and boost your bust. Blending viking fashion and Oedipal undertones, it's the missing link between Greek and Norse mythology that scholars have been searching for. Available here.

Stitch USB Desktop Humidifier
Is pumping clouds of cool steam into the air around your computer really a good idea? I doubt it. Still, there's no denying that this will inspire countless conversations with curious co-workers. Once upon a time it was available here.

Stitch TV
Someday soon I'm going to wake up and realize that the life I'm living right now has been nothing more than a dream. When that happens, there's really only three things that I think I'll miss: My gal Mishka, Marc Maron's WTF podcast, and the chance to have owned this too-cool-to-be-true TV. Again, if you can figure out the website, it's supposed to be available here.


  1. I want that tv!!!!!!!! And might I add this phone cover to the list:

    Been seriously tempted to get that, if only to add to my toy and knick knack collection

    1. Stitch ingesting and/or destroying something seems to be the PERFECT way to market him. It's automatically funny (cuz it's Stitch), it's inevitably cute (cuz of Chris Sanders' wonderful design), and it feels less a product of marketing than a natural outgrowth of the character.

      If you think about it, this approach dates back to the very first trailers for Lilo & Stitch, the ones that started off as an iconic moment from a Disney classic before unexpectedly being interrupted by the appearance of Experiment 626. (Here's a link to all 4: )

  2. One more:

    Super cute, and a great price too! Despite the fact that the temperature is already rising here, I may need to order that one. Although the benefit of working at an embroidery shop is I can digitize my own Stitch design and put it on some more summery caps! Oh the ideas for my summer wardrobe are flowing now!